Tonight, as I was dishing up some homemade chicken noodle soup for dinner, a fight broke out between Violet and Luke. They both wanted the same bowl (the GREEN one). Luke tried to grab it away from Violet and stuck his fingers in the very very hot broth and burned himself. Then they were both crying and yelling and trying to grab the green bowl. I picked it up, dumped the soup back in the pot, and walked toward the sink, fully intending to put it there with the rest of the dirty dishes. Then I was seized by a rash thought and I abruptly threw the bowl as hard as I could onto the kitchen floor. It shattered into at least 37 pieces.
Dan looked at me in disbelief; Violet's cry broke out again with a new level of hysteria.
The thing is, I didn't even feel angry when I did it. I actually felt quite calm. I was just tired. Tired of Violet complaining to me several times this evening about how she didn't want celery in her chicken noodle soup; tired of Ivy clamoring to be held while I tried to hurry and get dinner on; tired of yet another headache pounding in my brain; tired of all the fighting that breaks out every time we get out the damn bowls; tired of not being listened to when I've told them time and again that fighting over what color of bowl or cup or plate will result in me getting rid of all the colored dishes.
Now I feel a bit disappointed in myself though. What kind of an example did I just set for them? That it's okay to break things when we feel discouraged or tired? Will my rash action even do anything to prevent the bickering that I'm guessing will come tomorrow when they both want the same cup or a toy?
I guess I'll go browse some of the parenting books I picked up from the library today and see if anything resonates with me. (Anyone know where to get a plain white plastic dinnerware set?)
Oh Elise we have the same issue with fighting over colored dishes!! It is so annoying every day! The difference is mine are all plastic from Ikea, so they won't break, otherwise I'm sure I would have broken several! :) I really loved this post. Trust me you're not the first mother in history to do something like that, and you won't be the last. Who knows, maybe it will help them to remember to not fight about it, if they now realize how upset it makes you. ?? Let's hope. But if not, just know that kids are extremely forgiving and resilient, and will probably even forget the whole thing happened! :) I'm sure people will disagree with me, but sometimes I think it's good to show kids that adults feel things too, and make mistakes too, and we can say sorry and please forgive me and be calm again and move on. Plus, an action like that sometimes speaks louder than yelling at our children, which is undoubtedly what I would have done. Don't let it get to you. You're an amazing mother and I look up to you a lot! Love you, Lise!
ReplyDeleteAnd this is Lindsay, not Kenny.
ReplyDeleteAmen, Lindsay! I loved your honesty, Lise. And I love how shocked Dan was too. :) We used to have the same problem but Quincy implemented the color assignments of cups and dishes to the kids. The kids negotiated with each other their assigned color. This all happened when I was gone on one of my solo trips last year. Joseph has green, Samuel red, and Mary blue. When they want a drink, they know which color to go to. When we pass out food, they know which plate they get. The cups and plates were like a couple dollars each at Walmart. Maybe that would help?
ReplyDeleteWhoa Elise. Swear words and all. Each child in our house has an assigned color too. It's the "in" thing now. Spencer blue, Katelyn green, Ezra red, Jiles orange, Zoe purple, and Oliver yellow. I can remember fighting over the only blue cup growing up and the Pluto spoon. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteWeston
That was my favorite bowl. I'm so mad.
ReplyDelete:) But honestly, this will be a good one to tease elise about in the future.
DeleteHaha, this story is definitely one for the ages. I'm sorry your evening was so stressful though! For the record, I think you handled it well :). Sounds like you need a vacation... to Cancun!
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